Mother's Illness
by FTSKayleigh
Summary: Lucy Reid was just 8 years old when her older brother, Spencer, sent their mother away to a mental institution. Lucy hasn't seen their mother in 10 years... Find out what happens when they're finally reunited.


I first started noticing my mothers' symptoms when I was 5 years old. She would have screaming fits and it would scare me. I would hide in my room all day reading books and waiting for my brother to come home. About three years later, my brother came home and he and my mother got into an argument. He told me to pack my things and my mother slammed the door shut. She didn't want me to leave. She begged Spencer to let me stay but Spencer said he would call the police if she didn't let him take me. She grabbed my arms and pulled me away from him and placed me in the living room. She told me that I better not move. I was crying by this point, not sure what to do. Mom tried to reason with him but he wouldn't budge. He knew what was happening and what was best for me. He called me over and I started walking towards him but my mother yelled at me. She raised her hand and slapped me right across the face, immediately regretting her action. "I'm so sorry" she whispered. "Spencer please! She needs to stay with her mother!" She screamed at my brother but she knew after what she did, he would not let me stay there. My brother picked me up and told my mom he would be back for the rest of my stuff a few days later. She collapsed into tears on the floor and we left. I remember hugging my brother so tight and just crying into his shoulder thinking that things would never be ok. A few days later, my brother showed up at our mom's house with some nurses. He told her that he was sorry but he had to do this for her own good. It was the last time I had seen her for a long time.

I was sitting around a small table with some of the other agents that worked alongside my brother in the FBI. I was granted allowance to go on this case with them as they were headed to Nevada, where my mother was located. Me and Spencer were planning on visiting her, me for the first time in 10 years, and him just about 2 years. I am terrified of airplanes but I still like sitting next to the window because it makes me feel less claustrophobic.

"What's up, little Reid? You look…" I looked up as the young agent had startled me.

"Sorry Derek… You scared me. I just really hate flying. We're basically in a tin can flying through the air at 300 miles per hour."

"Actually a commercial jet like the one we're on now typically goes around 500-580 miles per hour." I stared up at my brother with the look I usually give him when I want him to stop talking. Derek just chuckled and went back to his crossword puzzle.

"But don't be scared… More people die in car crashes every year than plane crashes."

"And yet, Spencer, I am still terrified. Thanks for another one of your random facts though!" I always liked to tease him, mostly because it does get annoying with how smart he is.

We were just about to land in Nevada and I was waiting while the team was being briefed on the un-sub. I knew quite a lot about my brother's line of work by this time so I don't really bother listening in. It doesn't interest me much anymore. I hate hearing about murders and rape and kidnappings all the time. It's very triggering to my depression, which my brother still doesn't know about. I try and manage it on my own.

"Alright team, I'll meet you all tomorrow morning for a briefing in the conference room of the hotel. Get some rest because this one is going to take a while."

We broke up into our respective rooms and I began to unpack.

"When do you want to go visit mom?" My stomach began to turn. I was terrified of going to visit her. Of course I love her and I do send her letters from time to time, but I haven't seen her in 10 years.

"Can we go when you're unpacked?"

Spencer gave me a slight nod and a smile and began to unpack his things. I just sat on the bed waiting for what felt like an eternity. What was she going to look like? Would she be angry that I haven't come to visit her in a decade? What if we had nothing to talk about?

"Ready, Lucy?"

"Yep."

We made our way to the lobby and started walking toward the mental institution that my mother was being housed at. It was only a couple of blocks and fall was finally starting to set in. It wasn't too hot or too cold and I loved the Las Vegas scenery. It is a little more commercial than I'd like, but just for a visit it wasn't too bad. We passed my favorite ice cream shop growing up and it brought back so many flashes of memories.

"You'll be fine..." Spencer placed his hand on my shoulder encouragingly as we approached the doors.

"We'd like to sign in to see Diana Reid please."

"Of course, just sigh right here and head to floor 3"

"Thank you" We took our visitors badges and headed to the elevators. My stomach had the worst butterfly sensation I've ever felt.

We got cleared to enter the room and the doors opened. In the room, walls of white created a very sterile border between these patients and the rest of the world. There were people playing chess, sitting in rocking chairs, watching tv… They were going about their normal lives as if everything was alright. It was as if they didn't care that their family members had sent them here to mentally deteriorate until their bodies had succumbed to age or disease. I scanned the room for my mother and recognized her immediately. She was sitting in the corner staring longingly out the window.

I took the first steps over to her and Spencer followed closely behind. I was about halfway there when she noticed me. The look on her face broke my heart in a million pieces. It was as if she was feeling a mixture of all emotions. She was happy, sad, angry… I could feel my face frowning and I had a large lump in my throat. I forced myself not to cry…

"I haven't seen you in so long… You remind me so much of myself when I was your age. Gorgeous" I hugged her for a long time. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't realize how much I missed her until just now. My brother also hugged her and she grabbed both our hands, not wanting to let go.

"Why didn't you come and visit me?"

"I'm sorry, mom… Really, it's just that Virginia is miles away and I couldn't…"

"You could have flown here if you really wanted to… Why didn't you come?" Her voice was starting to raise in volume and I was having flashbacks to when I was 5 years old and this would happen weekly.

"Lucy, why! Give me an answer!" She was screaming at this point and the nurses were rushing over. Spencer grabbed me and pulled me out of the way.

"DON'T TOUCH ME I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO THEM… I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. DON'T TAKE HER AWAY AGAIN, PLEASE" By now the lump in my throat had escaped and I was crying. I hated seeing my mother like this. Why couldn't she just be normal!?

The nurses held her arms down while another one pushed a needle into her vein and she slowly calmed down.

"No! Please… don't"

I turned around and ran out of the room as fast as I could, with Spencer following behind. I knew this was a horrible idea.

"Lucy, wait! Stop running!" I ran the two blocks to our hotel and up to the room. I didn't want my brother to see me broken down like this. I hated crying in front of anybody. I got to our room and slammed the door shut before Spencer quickly opened it. I looked up at him trying to prevent myself from crying any more than he had already seen.

He grabbed my shoulders and hugged me tight. I couldn't stop myself now and just started crying like I had that day when I was younger. I felt my knees collapse and I couldn't stop myself from falling to the floor. Spencer and I sat there for what felt like an hour until I finally decided to go to bed. This day alone has triggered my depression and anxiety more than the past year. I wanted to sleep the rest of this stupid trip away. I had such an urge to cut tonight, but I knew my brother would know the moment I did it. I hated that he was a profiler. He's always known about anything bad I've done almost before I've actually done it. He's saved me many times though, and for that I will always be thankful. No matter what, he's still the only family I've got left. He's my older brother and I love him. He's made so many sacrifices for me. The least I could do is stick around… For him.


End file.
